Grieving Between Borders: How Cultural Dissonance Shapes Bereavement for Chinese and Arab People Living Abroad

For individuals of Chinese or Arab heritage residing abroad, bereavement may feel fragmented: loss is not only of a loved one, but also potentially represents an estrangement from social structures, the familiarity of familial constellations, and cultural meanings that help anchor identity.

This phenomenon – sometimes termed “cultural bereavement” – describes the grief reaction experienced when people perceive themselves as having lost their culture or cultural identity, typically through relocation or major life changes¹. In practice, this dissonance can compound distress: grief may be more difficult to express, traditional mourning processes may feel inaccessible, and the absence of familiar community rituals may leave existential and psychological gaps².

Tensions, or dissonance, can sometimes arise between culturally-inherited mourning norms (for instance, the importance of collective and/or mystical rituals) and Western therapeutic frameworks (which can prioritise verbal emotional processing); this can make determining optimal grief-support pathways challenging^3-5. A culturally sensitive approach is therefore essential – not simply to acknowledge loss, but to understand how grief’s expression is shaped by identity, belonging, and the psychological experience of potentially feeling “between worlds.”⁶

The psychology of grief in diaspora

The concept of cultural bereavement, first articulated by Maurice Eisenbruch, refers to the mental anguish arising from losing not just people, but also a cultural world: language, social structure, belief systems⁷. For instance, if migration cuts off an individual’s connection with familiar contexts, the emotional imprint of that loss can linger; described by Eisenbruch as a sustained mourning for “a past self,” a lost community, or a heritage partially left behind⁸. Studies suggest that this form of grief is not only metaphorical, but may contribute to increased rates of anxiety, depression, or identity disruption in diaspora populations⁹.

Beyond bereavement itself, individuals living abroad can frequently face an acculturative stress – the psychological strain of navigating new cultural norms and reconciling bicultural identity^10-11. For many, grief can become intertwined with identity negotiation: feelings of guilt, alienation, or disconnection may involve distress or confusion about how to belong in a place that can feel fundamentally unfamiliar³. Cultural incongruity between one’s inherited norms and those of a new society may amplify grief responses and exacerbate mental health risk¹.

Researchers recommend integrating culturally attuned frameworks – such as a module based on the Cultural Formulation Interview – into clinical practice to explore how individuals conceptualise loss across cultural lines^12-13. Without this sensitivity, grief-related pathology may be overlooked, misinterpreted, or under-treated¹³.

Chinese mourning traditions and the challenges of grieving abroad

Chinese cultural frameworks around mourning are deeply rooted in “filial piety” (xiào, 孝) – a moral system encompassing concepts of respect, love, and care for one’s parents and elders, including observance of proper burial rites^14-15. Traditional mourning practices (such as jìzǔ ancestral rites or incense offerings) serve not only religious purposes but functions of identity continuity, moral order, and family unity^16-17.

For Chinese individuals living abroad, geographical separation can disrupt these duties at precisely the moment they feel most morally significant¹⁸. When a parent or elder dies, the inability to be physically present for caregiving, funeral rites, or post-funeral obligations could precipitate acute guilt, unresolved grief, and heightened psychological distress¹³. Studies link increased symptoms of sleep disturbance, demoralisation, and depressive affect with diasporic populations mourning from afar, particularly where obligations cannot be fulfilled^1,19. The internal conflict between cultural duty and logistical reality can thereby become a potent source of psychological strain¹.

Many classical Chinese philosophies place high value on emotional moderation, composure, and self-discipline²⁰. This cultural ideal may often manifest in restrained or internalised grieving styles²¹. While these modes of expression can be adaptive within culturally attuned environments, they could equally be misread in Western clinical contexts as “coping well,” or alternatively, as flat affect^22-23.

“Chris K. K. Tan, an anthropologist at the School of Social and Behavioral Sciences at Nanjing University in China, says the main purpose of mourning rituals is to ‘allow the bereaved family to mourn the passing of the deceased in a dignified manner.’

He adds that the emphasis on dignity comes from the focus on rituals in Confucianism. ‘[Confucius] advocated moderation and using ritual to limit the possibilities of over-indulgence,’ he explains. ‘When it comes to funerals, the immediate family of the deceased must express their grief, but not to such a degree as to lose one’s comportment.’” – From “The Death of My Poh Poh Made Me Wonder: How Do Chinese Families Deal With Grief?”, Madelyn Chung²⁴

In response to distance, some diaspora families have been adopting digitally mediated mourning practices²⁵. Virtual funerals, livestreamed memorial halls, AI-generated avatars of loved ones, and online ancestor-offering platforms became especially prevalent after the COVID-19 period and have persisted as a meaningful adaptation^25-27. These digital forms create new transnational spaces for continuity, allowing individuals to uphold filial sentiments despite global mobility. However, research notes that while digital mourning can help reduce helplessness, it rarely fully substitutes for an embodied ritual^28-29.

Grief in Arab cultural contexts for individuals away from home

Across many Arab cultural contexts, grief is fundamentally collective³⁰. Aza (العَزَاء , the gathering in which family and community members offer condolences, recite prayers, and share in mourning) serves both a spiritual and psychological function^31-32. The presence of community can act as a buffering mechanism: it may help validate loss, distribute emotional weight, or reinforce a sense of belonging, for instance^31-32.

For Arab individuals living abroad, potentially far from extended kin networks, the absence of these communal structures can amplify loneliness and destabilise the mourning process³³. Research indicates that isolation during bereavement among Arab diaspora populations is associated with increased prolonged grief symptoms, heightened anxiety, and reduced access to culturally affirming support^34-35.

A central value in Islamic and Arab moral philosophy is sabr – a broad concept including elements of patience, endurance, and dignified perseverance during hardship^36-37. Profoundly meaningful, sabr may influence many areas of an individual’s behaviour and cognition, including the shaping of grief expression; potentially in ways that may be challenging for Western perspectives to accurately interpret^38-41. For instance, a bereaved individual may feel a pressure to remain externally composed, avoid “burdening” others, or to frame suffering exclusively in spiritual terms^42-43.

“Sabr is popularly translated as ‘patience’. By ‘patience’, it is commonly understood that one suffers without feeling anger, fear, or any other disruptive emotion […] one who endures hardship without showing feelings or complaining.

The stoic is thus the epitome of spiritual maturity. When dealing with pain and suffering, anything short of reacting with joy or at worst, internal indifference, is a defect of character and faith.”

– From “On the Disservice of Ṣabr in Modern Muslim Communities”, Taymaz Tabrizi, Berkeley Institute For Islamic Studies⁴³

Men, in particular, may be socialised towards stoicism, protective roles, and emotional containment, which can mask or exacerbate depression, insomnia, irritability, or functional decline^44-46. Without cultural sensitivity, clinicians may under-recognise distress, or misattribute symptoms to work stress or “adjustment challenges”.

In some Arab contexts, certain religious obligations around burial and mourning can be difficult or impossible to fulfil for individuals living abroad⁴⁷. 

As a lived experience, this can carry significant emotional weight; for instance, delayed rites may intensify distress or a sense of spiritual disruption. In this way, interruptions to cultural mourning norms can affect both mental wellbeing and the spiritual integration of bereavement.

Clinical considerations: when cultural dissonance complicates bereavement

Across cultural contexts, grief may often manifest through somatic channels – such as fatigue, headaches, gastrointestinal disturbance, chest pressure, or diffuse bodily discomfort – rather than overt expressions of sadness^50-51. In Western clinical settings, where bereavement may be modulated by cultural factors, these presentations can obscure underlying depressive states or delayed grief reactions – potentially leading to under-diagnosis or misattribution^52-54. For individuals navigating bicultural expectations, this diagnostic complexity can prolong suffering or delay intervention⁵⁵.

Cultural dissonance in bereavement correlates meaningfully with measurable risk across three pathways:

• Depressive symptoms, including guilt, cognitive slowing, and diminished motivation, are heightened when individuals feel unable to meet cultural or ritual obligations^13,19,47.
• Sleep disruption is common when individuals experience unresolved grief, cross-chronotype communication with family abroad, or depressive symptoms related to perceived unfulfilled duties^56-58.
• Maladaptive coping can emerge when grief feels inexpressible in a new culture: substance abuse, alcohol misuse, emotional withdrawal, irritability, and functional disengagement may all surface⁵⁹.

Reflections: grief not as a breaking point, but as a bridge between cultures 

Though culturally dissonant grief can be destabilising, research shows that bicultural individuals demonstrate high adaptability and psychological resilience when navigating traumatic experiences^60-61. Many individuals living overseas choose to perform hybrid mourning practices: for example, lighting incense while attending a memorial in their new location, being present at a virtual Aza, or blending private personal ethics with selective disclosure to trusted clinicians or advisors⁶². These adaptations represent one way of honouring heritage while remaining rooted in a life built abroad⁶³.

For Chinese and Arab individuals living far from home, grieving across cultures may mean balancing ideas of duty, logistics, identity, and emotional truth. Yet, within this complexity lies the possibility of navigating grief in a way that helps carry meaning forward, reinforce belonging, and maintain continuity with both the past and present; bolstered by sensitive, well-structured support, bereavement can serve as a timely affirmation of culture, memory, and community, even across international borders⁶⁴.

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